Taylor Swift and Ivanka Trump: When the White Girl Princess Syndrome Goes Horribly, Annoyingly Wrong
Taylor Swift. You are special.
Ivanka Trump. You are special.
So the fuck am I. And everyone else. We are all special. That makes us so incredibly, miraculously... similar. Not in a boring, basic bitch type of way. But in an exciting, motivating, exhilarating, "This is land is your land, this land is my land," kind of beautiful way.
There is nothing about your story that a child born to crack addicted parents in extreme poverty could not achieve or attain for him or herself. Nothing. NOTHING AT ALL. Trust me.
Just yesterday, I watched a TED Talk by Curtis "Wall Street" Carroll, a man serving a 54-year-to-life sentence in San Quentin who taught himself to read and learn trends in the stock market, becoming a millionaire.
Acquiring wealth, health, success, and the admiration of others is not hard. It has never been hard. From a spiritual perspective, if you want something enough, there is no force in the universe that can keep you from it.
The thing that highlights the stark difference between physical experiences here on earth is how that life that you live makes you feel. If you are a horrible person (acting out of negative emotions, including, but not limited to insecurity, anxiety, anger, and hatred), you are losing.
What happens when you arm someone with an unwavering belief in their personal ability to achieve prosperity and emphasize that this superficial success is a direct result of them being "special," but you do not help them to reach a more harmonious spiritual balance by believing that same ability lies in every other human being? They become entitled assholes.
Taylor Swift. You are an entitled asshole.
Ivanka Trump. You are an entitled asshole.
And that is where their personal stories diverge from mine.
I believe that there is a tendency to overuse that specific entitled asshole creating narrative with young white girls. Like Tay-Tay and Vanki. They are often given more things for absolutely nothing because that is how they are used to getting things. Because that's literally what they have been raised to believe. I am entitled to this. Of course I'm rich! Of course I have what I want, materially and physically! Of course everyone looks at me and pays attention to me! Of course I am right!
It is less often that such a mentality exists for others in similar worlds. Look at a Beyonce or Oprah. There is an inherent belief that they had to work very, very hard for any success and will continue to have to work for it.
Neither view is true, based on my spiritual beliefs of how the universe works, but one story creates privileged monsters (and the other continues to stifle the power of manifestation in girls of color who, unfortunately, believe that they are only living life right if they work themselves to the bone).
This week, three stories in particular prompted this look at how/why young white women fail to exude the kind of self-worth and self-value that yields more meaningful and successful interpersonal relationships and interactions, despite having attained material success. The first is Tay-Tay's VMA premier of a weird new video in which she's destroying former iterations of herself only to build Taylor version 5000, and her continued "relevance reliance" on that one time Kanye West interrupted her while she accepted an award that she totally deserved just for being her and it hurt her. My GOD, how it hurt her! The second is the Vanity Fair article about how Vanki and her hubby, Kushner, are DC outsiders, which could dim the light of a thousand wealthy formerly cool kid souls and is probably eating away at her self-image as we speak. The last article that really set off a train of thought that brought me to the title of this piece was hearing news of Cardi B going off on a fan for grabbing her butt and the social media backlash about it. Cardi is not allowed to be outraged by someone touching her without her consent because she used to strip, but Taylor Swift wins a $1 counter suit against a radio DJ that she complained about a day after he touched her behind in a photo.
Let's get this straight, no man should touch any part of another person's anatomy without their permission. Furthermore, anyone who confronts a person for violating them in that way deserves the respect and support that any other human would want after experiencing something like that. That person is entitled to feel and express the full range of emotions an unwanted advance like that may elicit: anger, fear, hurt, frustration, anxiety, sadness, whatever!
My issue is with the uneven response. And I am reminded that so often, women of color do not move through a world that allows them to feel that they are valuable, valued, and have a right to anything that they want in this life. And white women are told the opposite. I realize that I am painting in broad strokes, but the heavy handed response to Cardi is so stark that it fuels my over-generalization-ator. Cardi and Tay-Tay are two women working in the same industry, trading on their sex appeal (to varying degrees and with different specific pasts and histories, but I've seen more of both of their bodies than I would want a stranger to see of mine). Mere weeks apart in the headlines, two very similar stories pop up regarding both women being groped, granted only Cardi actually confronted the person in the moment and called him out right then and there, it is Tay-Tay who gets sympathy and Cardi that gets told to sit down and stop demanding respect that she is not due. And who is silent? Taylor fucking Swift. To be fair, this is most certainly NOT on her radar, but her feud with Nicki Minaj some years ago only highlights how tone deaf she is to this, and how often she cashes in on the unequal distribution of affirmation and appreciation that she feels entitled to, but does not see others to be deserving of. This is why people don't like you Taylor. You need attention and an ego stroke, that I, and so many others, are simply NOT here for. Sit. Down.
Now, for Vanki. There is no greater shade that I could throw than what was in that damn article. VF pulled no punches and printed quotes from disenchanted members of the White House inner circle like "There's nothing more obstructive and distracting and unhelpful than to have a bunch of stupid apolitical family members calling all the shots." Buuurrrrnnnnnn.
I bet no one has ever called Vanki stupid to her face. Her precious, precious ego.
The problem with insecure girls with entitlement issues is that they grow up having developed magnificent coping mechanisms for their insecurities that are usually insanely oppressive of the emotional growth and expression of others because of that sense of entitlement. It is very disruptive to the spiritual balance of other people. I can imagine that's why people hate her in Washington. She is not adjusting well to a lifestyle, role, and title that people are pointing out do not fit her well. Cue the victim. Vanki is well known, at this point, for uttering the same "I didn't ask for this" victim's battle cry.
Privilege is a bitch when people finally stop recognizing you as innately entitled to have something they have collectively determined you DID NOT EARN. Her world is probably crumbling down around her. And I feel some compassion for the woman. No one taught her that she would never actually see the special parts of herself without acknowledging that they exist in others. That means you cannot assume that you are entitled to things in life. You have to see that we all have the capacity to be great and the desire to be great. And that is what makes us all incredible forces on this planet. She did not learn that way. I bet you Tiffany Trump is much more resilient!
And that, in a nutshell, is why white princesses will always lose. Because people hate them. The vibes that they give off are annoying AS FUCK. I mean that on a deeply spiritual level. It's like, your energy is fucked, boo. Like, YOU can't sit with US. Like, it's not cool that you're here. Like, who invited her. Like that.
Here's one way to try to help you flex the muscles you'll need to pull yourself out of that castle tower. When you start feeling whiny and princess-y and victim-y, remind yourself that the other girl or girls or women in the story are princesses to. You don't have a monopoly on crowns.