FINALLY!

Mainstream media outlets are calling Haitian survivors "looters". My cynicism of humanity was waning with all the crazy talk of helping people and sending aid.

It took a week, but major news outlets are finally reporting the actions of starving, thirsty, homeless survivors of last week's earthquake as "looting". It was only a matter of time before our capitalist, greedy tendencies would replace the urge to help with the urge to force people in a horrible situation to adhere to arbitrary laws of property and enterprise.

Now...how do we help Haitian business owners (who may or may not have survived the quake themselves) guard their stores and inventory from the hungry orphaned children before they're in the red?

UPDATE: A Mother Jones source keeps it real about what's happening in Port-Au-Prince...stories of "looters" and "gun fights" are overblown and disappointing!

Marry, F*&%, Kill...MA Special Election Edition

It's record voter turnout in Massachusetts today, where residents get to decide who'll fill the vacant Senate seat left by Ted Kennedy in a special election.

It feels more like a game of "Marry, F*$%, Kill" (Marry, Date, Give time out to - for the faint of heart), but a voter's gotta do what a voter's gotta do. In the heated race between Scott Brown (kind of a douche) and Martha Coakley (a lady douche), Dems are trying to strategize around the idea of losing the "super majority" (<---a phrase that I HATE, by the way) in the Senate with regards to passing health care reform. And so, just in case you were wondering - I'd marry Kennedy (because, well, he's a Kennedy), I'd [hate] f*%$ Brown, and I'd kill Coakley (because she's ruining the beginning of my year, and I'm not into chicks).

Check out WP's "The Fix" to make predictions for a silly politi-junkie t-shirt. I would tell you what I predicted, but I'm too competitive.

*image from Winslow Townson - AP