Pat Robertson's PR machine spoke to God last night...

and apparently everything he said about Haiti yesterday was true.

Or true-ish. Well, as true as a story about "The Devil" can be. You know - like that one about Rumpelstiltskin.

A statement posted to his website, that is totally unbiased and totally based on a real/imaginary conversation with God (who is a man, by the way), states that Pat was talking about a for realsies pact with the Devil that Haitian slaves made to get the French back to France where they belonged. Unfortunately for the Haitians, the Devil is wily and he crossed his fingers when he promised that he'd expell the French but absolutely WOULDN'T do anything sneaky like create a 7.0 earthquake 300 years later to kill children and trap people in rubble.

Oh, Haitian slaves of the 18th century! What a pickle.

Meanwhile, Pat Robertson still has a job. And millions of dollars. I'm supposed to believe there's a God? (<--big "G".)

I bet Pat would make a pact with "The Devil" to get a business class seat on a commuter flight.