1. Sen. Jim Webb (D-Va) somehow saved a Missouri native from the evil grips of Myanmar and hard labor (yuck!). And by Myanmar I mean Burma...or Myanmar. Or, wait, Bur-whatever! The man was sentenced to seven years, but the Dems are on a roll when it comes to getting people out of prison overseas. YAY, AMERICA! (CNN)2. A Montana city hates homeless people and wants to contain the panhandling disease before it becomes a pandemic. (WSJ)
3. Joe the Plumber (who's not named Joe and isn't a plumber - NO...we must never let that die!) and Michelle Malkin (the girl that married ho-ing it up on Capitol Hill to conservative ideals) talked to a bunch of techie, young repubs at a Sheraton in Pittsburgh. Unfortunately for them, some innocent Washington Independent staffer had to listen to it all and choke back vomit. (Wash Ind)
4. Obama gave his weekly address, and finally put health reform into a sound bite. It took three months, but someone did it!!! A vague statement that makes people feel okay about "reform" and doesn't include the words death or panel. Your move, right wing crazies. Your move. (Wash Monthly)
5. We are still at war in Afghanistan. Who knew?!?!! (WaPo)
6. FOX says that Obama's support is waning because health care is his achilles heel, and his powers are fading, AND SOON THE EARTH SHALL RETURN TO THE PEOPLE, AND OUR GRANDFATHERS' AMERICA WILL RISE AGAIN. The bad part is that MY grandfather's America kind of sucked, and I'm concerned about the reaction I'll have when white men start calling me "gal" and throwing me in jail when I drink water from the same fountain they use. The good thing is, as Obama's powers shrink maybe he can break apart his soul and put them into horcruxes, and when young Trig Palin gets to be about 14 or 15, he'll have to fight Obama - because "neither can live while the other survives" and then Snape will kill Dumbledore, and Obama will reconvene the death eaters...and...wait, I'm sorry. I was just watching Harry Potter. (FOXNews)
7. Ashton Kutcher makes Sarah Ball, over at Newsweek, swoon by blathering on about DNA and poison and clothes and Mickey Rooney and being smart. And she wrote about it all, and none of it makes sense, but one thing is certain - she must have peed her pants because her article ends with the weirdest non-sentence she's ever written and I couldn't possibly tell you what the point of the story was. (Newsweek)
8. California's on fire. It must be noon. (LAT)
9. The Brits are talking shit about 'merican health care. It's a good thing they wrote it down, because it's nearly impossible to understand them through their horrendous teeth. (The Indie)
10. Valerie Jarrett was heckled at the Netroots Nation conference in Pittsburgh for not showing pictures of torture on demand. And when she said she'd only answer submitted questions, all hell broke loose because even democrats hate democrats, especially when they support the democratic president. (HuffPo)
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